Last week I got Ryan to do a review of his favorite CDs from 2004, now I'm going to do a review of the movies I've seen in this year. I'm going to break it down into three different categories:
Movies I Saw at a Theater
Movies I Got Off of Pay-Per-View
Movies I Rented and/or Bought
Why those three categories? Because although I didn't see a ton of flicks this year, especially compared to years past, there are still a bunch and one giant list may become unweildly. And I'm not going to write massive reviews, probably one to two sentences, unless I really liked it or really hated it. Since most of the movies released this year has an "ahhh, whatever" quality, this will probably be a bunch of short entries.
I'm going to try and grade each movie on a scale of one to five Jerry Matherses. I couldn't decide whether to go with young, cute Beaver or gawky, dorky old Jerry, so I compromised and went with the gawky, teenage Beave.
MOVIES I SAW AT A THEATER:
Alexander Probably not as bad as everyone says it is, but there are enough shitty parts to make this movie unwatchable. Not unbearable, there's a difference. I'll never watch this movie again, but it wasn't so bad the first time.
Anchorman : The Legend of Ron Burgundy This movie was awesome. Tons, and I mean tons, of laughs. Not to mention a weird ass story and an actual good cameo by Ben Stiller. This dude is quickly becoming my movie Public Enemy Number One ... and not in the cool way that Public Enemy was cool.
Kill Bill VOL. 2 If Quinten Tarrantino had never written, filmed and produced "Pulp Fiction" this would've been his greatest flick. But he did, so it comes in a very respectful number two. I like the plot in this one better than volume one and the action was still kick ass.
The Life Aquatic With Steven Zissou Am I glad I saw this movie? Yes. Would I see it again? I'm not rushing out to buy it when it comes to DVD. Like most Wes Andersen flicks, I enjoyed it but I didn't love it. Funny. But not "ha-ha" funny.
National Treasure You like popcorn? This is what is called a popcorn adventure flick. Why? Because it's light and fluffy. It was like "Indiana Jones" lite. Not the worst thing I've seen, I'd probably see it again.
Ocean's Twelve This is just like "National Treasure" except there was about 15 times the star power. Catherine Zeta-Jones looked hot as usual. Everyone else looked like they were having fun. I like fun flicks. So sue me.
Shrek 2 This movie was ok. I hate Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and John Lithgow. I think they're all a bunch over acting hacks. And Shrek 2 was the same as Shrek 1. Except that I paid $10 to see it. That blows.
Spider-man 2 Probably the best movie I saw all year. That's saying something, I guess. Being a former comic book geek, the flick stayed true to its roots. The CGI was pretty awesome. The plot was kick ass, the acting was good, the dialog was passable and the action was awesome. Great flick.
Super Size Me This is the primary reason why I rarely eat at fast food burger joints any more. I think I only went seven times last year. That used to be a bad (or good) month for me. This dude sort of went over board on some things, but as far as documentaries go, it was pretty good.
The Village Like Alexander, it wasn't as bad as people said. Not as good other M. Night Shemalyan (spelling?) movies, but it was good. The one thing is that he should quit trying to give us a twist at the end. They're getting a tad predictable.
MOVIES I GOT OFF PAY-PER-VIEW
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Terrible fucking movie. Just beyond bad. Horrible. Ben Stiller sucks. There. I said it. He's over exposed and he just blows. And I used to think his wife, Christine Taylor, was hot. Now I know she's just a crappy actress. And Vince Vaughn was sleep walking through this movie.
Saved! This was kind of a funny movie. A little over the top and a little cliched, but it was funny. That's all I ask is that a movie entertain me. Is that too much? Plus, Mandy Moore looked hot and seeing Mulchaley (spell?) Culkin in a wheelchair was kind of weird.
The Stepford Wives Worse than Dodgeball. I almost asked for my money back. Putrid movie with a bunch of people who just didn't give a fuck. Terrible.
MOVIES I RENTED AND/OR BOUGHT
The Manchurian Candidate I saw this before I saw the original. The original is better. This was a bit more drawn out, but Denzel did a better job of acting than Sinatra. There were a few scenes that were a bit over the top, but that's drama in the 21st Century, I suppose.
Mean Girls It's not Citizen Kane, but you know I don't think it was supposed to be. Hot chicks, some semblence of a plot, made me laugh once or twice. Well, that pretty much sums up the year in movies for 2004. Tina Fey smugly smirked her way through this entire movie, sort of like she does every weekend during Saturday Night Live. Yeah, that's not getting old. But she wasn't in it that much.
Until next year, amigos.