Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Things to do while it's raining in Baltimore

There is nothing worse than a rain delay. Actually, that's bullshit, there are a lot of things worse than a rain delay. To prove it, we're going to play a little game called, "Watching TV with 19thoughts". I'm going to start flicking around channels and commenting on what I see. It's is 9:02 on Tuesday, July 27th ... this could ge interesting.

First thing I'm watching is NESN. Like I said before, there is a rain delay going on so they have the Red Sox team doctor on telling people about the injuries on the Sox. This guy is completely full of shit. Which, I guess, he has to be. He's just talking to kill some time and Eric Friede (who is the talking head yesing Herr Doctor to death) is terrible.

The doctor talks, Friede doesn't listen, he's thinking about his next question. There are no follow-ups, no breaks between questions, nothing. Friede is a question machine gun. Jesus, he's fucking terrible. The doctor is talking about how Pedro is facing Johan Santana on Sunday and what a great match up this will be which prompts Friede to start talking about the rain.

Why doesn't he ask why this will be a great matchup? What is Santana's record? Jesus Friede, it's fucking baseball, not rocket science. You know what? This might be the Boston Globe's Bob Hoehler (spelling?) If it is, forget about all the doctor comments. Friede still blows.

Let's turn on VH1 Classic, first, let's go to HBO. "Malibu's Most Wanted" is on. I thought this was going to be a funny ass movie. It's not. Jamie Kennedy plays a white guy who thinks he's black. His dad drops him off in Compton to scare the black out of him. Right now Jamie is jumping around because he just shot his foot accidentally. The channel is being changed.

I changed the channel again, now "Da Ali G" show is on. I wasn't a huge fan, but I've seen a bunch of clips and he's pretty funny. Right now he's pretending to be an Arab helping some guy run for governor. He walked up to a dude that looks like John Smoltz and told him to feel his penis. The guy running for governor was pissed and told him to take a walk.

Now he's in front of the Oklahoma legislature and asked them for a ten-minute moment of silence and giving people compliments ... like he wants to make romance inside of you. Funny stuff. Now he has a bunch of family-first conservatives on a talk show and he's asking them a bunch of questions about whether parents should allow their kids to watch them having sex.

It's amazing to me that people don't realize that this guy is just putting them on. There are a lot of clueless mofrackies out there.

1 comment:

Bill said...

"Byron" is one gay fucking name. Were your parents retarded?

Sincerely,

Mr. Weebles