My Calling

Yesterday, in the midst of a shitty day at work, I figured out what the hell I wanted to do with my life. I want to be a cartoonist. Not just a cartoonist, drawing, but writing and producing the stuff. I began my journey today with the first step, I emailed a guy on SOSH who has experience in the industry.

I asked him a lot of questions and for advice. Once I get that settled and see what kind of path is before me, I am going to go for it with more desire than anything I ever have. If I need to go to California or Georgia or Timbucktoo in order to reach my goal, I'll do it.

Yesterday I had an ephiphany. I can't do the cube thing any more. I just can't. It's not my style, I need to be able to work at something that I am passionate about. I dig my job, it's not a bad job, but I want my job to define my life. That sounds stupid, and I never thought that I would say that, but when I walk down the street I want someone to say, "Hey, there goes Byron the cartoonist."

I have ideas. They're in my head. I just need someone to take a chance on me.

I think that is why I get so pissed when I see art done by people who look like they don't give a shit. They have the best jobs in the world. Every day they leave their marks on the world. They aren't invisible. I want that to be me. If it ever is me, I promise not to be lazy or take anything for granted. I give my word on that.

Interesting show on. It's all about Death Row Records and the rap wars of the 90s. Great show, called "Welcome to Death Row". It's a documentary that interviews all of the major players, Dre, Snoop, Suge Knight, Nate Dogg, all of them. Great stuff. I wish I had this channel, True. I think it's a Starz channel.

Tonight's my last night in Amesbury. Even though I've had a shitty week (work stuff, personal stuff) I felt a little sad driving home from work knowing that I'm not going to be here tomorrow night. It's sort of stupid because I can not wait to go home, see my girlfriend, be in my own bed, watch my own TV, shit on my own toilet. But when I come home, I come back to a place with a lot of great memories. When I leave, it feels like I'm leaving those memories behind and I'm always afraid of forgetting.

I don't ever want to forget.