49. The Banana Splits

Note: Since I didn't have any pictures for my last entry, you get two here.



When I was younger—like two or three-years-old—I only wanted to do two things: sleep and watch television. Hell, that's what I'd like to do now, but I have to do adult stuff now. Anyway, the first show that I can remember being completely obsessed with was “The Banana Splits”.

Let me step back for a second; the first thing on television that I was obsessed with was a British short that went by the name of “Simon and the Land of Chalk Drawings” that ran every other day during “Romper Room”. You might remember this as the skit that Mike Myers did when he was in his English phase during his later years of SNL. Basically this kid would hop over a fence and enter into this world of stick figures where he was essentially the king because he could draw well. Whenever the cartoon would end, I'd go crazy and cry uncontrollably. My mother told me that one day I bawled so much that after three hours of hysterics she told me that Simon lived on my wall (luckily for her, I had a border of stick-drawn kids running at the top of my room that I had never noticed before) and that he wouldn't come around if I continued to cry. That shut me up.

That was the first short on television that I was completely and totally obsessed with. The first show was the aforementioned “Banana Splits”. What did I like about them? I'm not sure, I think that what attracted me to the show initially was the bright, psychedelic set colors. Remember, I was the kid who'd wake up at 5:00 am to watch the test pattern until the local UHF channel began its broadcasting day. Colors really had a great impact on what I watched when I was a kid; the brighter, the better.

I enjoyed how the cartoon were “real”—the main characters of Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and Snorky were costumed actors who did things that animated characters did, like get hit on the head with a hammer or run at a high rate of speed with bongo noises in the background. The show's format was like none that I had seen before as it was a variety show that would often have three different cartoons a day. I was used to watching just Yogi Bear or just Huckleberry Hound. To me, “The Banana Splits” was like watching four shows at once.

The shorts were often animated, but the live action shorts that sticks out the most was a serial called “Danger Island”. The plot details are murky, but the episodes centered on a father (who was a professor), his two kids (one of which was a young Jan Michael Vincent) their guide and the guide's spastic helper, Chongo who were stuck on an island. The group was often chased by a pirate who had a cadre of henchmen called the Skeleton Men (guys painted like skeletons – and were terrifying to a three-year-old) who thought that the professor knew where a treasure was burried. Whenever the group would get into trouble someone would scream, “Uh-oh Chongo!” and Chongo would go crazy, beating the crap out of anyone within three feet of him.

The more I think of it, the more that I think that Chongo was the first mentally retarded person on television, predating Corky from “Life Goes On” by about 20 years. Chongo had retard strength, no doubt. Other shorts included: “The Adventures of Tom and Huck”, “The Three Muskateers” and “The Adventures of Gulliver”. I have a feeling that these shorts, based on some of the best books ever written, could be the genesis of why I enjoy reading so much.

And that's about all I remembered of “The Banana Splits” until I happened upon the show one night about a decade ago when I was a little tipsy. Much like the time I came across “In Search Of ...” I was completely fascinated with the show and in my altered state began trying to recapture the wonderment I had when I was a kid. The thing that I found was that I still enjoyed the show as an adult and started watching it whenever I could. The colors were still vibrant, the actions of the characters were still cartoon-y, but it still made me smile. The last time I caught the show was three years ago—it was on Boomerang at the time, but after we switched cable companies we lost the channel. It's a shame because I really dug the show and hope to see it again.

One thing that I enjoy about this show is that it's not burnt into the collective conscious of the American people. Therefore it hasn't been turned into a cliché, like some of the other characters from the Hanna Barbera universe. In fact people only have a very hazy recollection of the program when asked if they remember it. Mostly, they can recall the opening song, but that's about it. As an aside, when I was in college, my favorite retro t-shirt was a Banana Splits shirt that I wore just about every weekend. It was always a cool conversation starter that usually ended with “I sort of remember them, but I don't. What were they about again?”

While doing some research on “The Banana Splits” here are some interesting things that I found:

- The live amusement park scenes were not filmed at King's Island in Cincinnati. King's Island wasn't open until 1972, two years after the show ended. The scenes were filmed at Six Flags in Arlington, TX and Coney Island in Cincinnati. I guess I thought that it was filmed in King's Island because of the “Brady Bunch” episode where the gang heads to Cincinnati.

- According to Wikipedia, the show was not based on “The Monkees”, rather it was based on “Rowan and Martin's Laugh In”. The characters themselves were loosely based on the Monkees, who were based on the Beatles. I was thinking about this the other day and came up with a chart:

Fleagle = Davy Jones = Paul McCartney
Drooper = Mike Nesmith = John Lennon
Snorky = Peter Tork = George Harrison
Bingo = Mickey Dolenz = Ringo Starr

- Barry White, yes that Barry White, sang one of the Banana Splits songs. It was called “Doing the Banana Split”. I am as surprised as you are. And Bob Marley said that “Tra, la, la, la's” from the opening theme were a strong influence on the chorus of “Buffalo Soldier”. Dread locked Rasta indeed.

- The costumes were designed by Sid and Marty Kroft. I am not 100% sure of this, but I read somewhere that Sid and Marty Kroft got next to nothing for creating this from Hanna and Barbera and this slight was the impetus for the Krofts to branch out on their own. So fans of HR Puffenstuff, you owe something to the greed of Hanna and Barbera.

- One last thing, check out Snorky from Season One to Season Two:

Season One, a kick-ass Wooly Mammoth looking thing:


Season Two, just a regular old elephant:


Why the change?

50. Superock

I would bet that a majority of people who are reading this probably had never heard of this show before and that's not surprising. Usually when I write one of these entries I do a bit of Internet research on Wikipedia or Google, but I haven't been able to find anything about this show, so there will be no title card graphic today.

During the early to mid 1990s, MTV was in its genesis of getting more and more segmented both musically and how they programmed their channel. The sad state of affairs that MTV is in today (no music, crappy reality show after crappy reality show) is the direct result of the people that complain about the sad state of affairs that MTV is in. When MTV first hit the airwaves, it was literally like radio on television, pretty much wall-to-wall videos with some band interviews and some general information from one of the five VJs about the artists.

First the channel became a phenomena with the youth of America with some thinking that it was a passing fad. Once MTV proved it had staying power, the advertising and marketing executives descended on the channel and came up with an idea on how to make money off MTV's youthful audience. It's basic targeted advertising, their rational was that it was difficult to market a product where the audience was an unknown. Put it this way if you run a block of videos that has Pat Benatar, Michael Jackson, Journey and W.A.S.P. in it, who knows who's watching. It could be a heavy metal fan, a pop fan, etc. However, if you bundle these genres up you have a good idea of what your audience is going to be.

That is how shows like “Club MTV”, “Yo! MTV Raps” and “Headbangers Ball” came to exist. Many of the same commercials ran during these shows, but others were specifically targeted toward the demographic of each program and that was determined by the normal guidelines: race, gender, income bracket. Not surprisingly, these shows were hits. Instead of waiting two hours with the slight hope of watching the latest Public Enemy or Slaughter video, you could just tune into one of the shows and check them out.

Also around this time, (the late 80s) MTV started experimenting with non-music shows. The first that I can remember was “Remote Control”, which was a brilliant game show that combined humor with useless trivia. I loved it and it turned out that it was one of the biggest hits on MTV. As most successful business are wont to do, MTV built on their success and produced other shows that became just as successful like “The Real World”, “Beavis and Butthead”, “The State”, “Singled Out”. Unlike today, these shows were sprinkled through their lineup and while some were aired ad nauseam during marathons, the music was still the backbone of the channel. This all changed in the late 90s when MTV turned their back on music and became a youth-culture channel, but that is another story for another day.

During this time where MTV is going through its growing pains, a new type of music is coming to the scene: alternative. By about 1993, alternative had grown to become the most popular type of rock (causing some to ask what was the alternative to alternative music) and MTV quickly jumped on and exploited this trend too, by having two late-night shows centered around alternative rock. One was the daily “Alternative Nation” which starred the annoying alterna-chick Kennedy. The show pretty much played the staples of the day, the more mainstream alternative stuff: Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Live, Soundgarden, etc. On Sunday nights, MTV allowed the real alt stuff to come out with “120 Minutes”. This was two hours of the videos that were a little off-centered or from England that “serious” music fans really liked.

This brings us to the subject of today's blog, “Superock”. Unlike “Alternative Nation” and “120 Minutes” and MTV's entire programming philosophy, “Superock” was much different. To me, SR was a throwback to the days of early FM radio, where you could literally hear anything. Not that I was around to hear the early days of FM, but I've read stories of Boston's WBCN playing a rock song, followed by a classical piece, followed by a blues album in the span of 20 minutes. SR wasn't that extreme, but it was the one place where diversity was worshipped.

Most of the videos were of the alternative type; but there was a bunch of rap, older stuff and hard rock mixed in. It was the prototype for the iPod shuffle setting. One minute you'd see Eric B and Rakim and then you'd see Biohazard followed by Alice In Chains and then a cut from the Beastie Boy's “Paul's Boutique”.

Another aspect that made this show unique was that there were no VJs yammering at you or trying to impress you with their obnoxious antics. By this time in MTV's history, VJs began to think that they were the talent and that the videos interrupted what they had to say—you can probably blame this phenomena on Pauly Shore. In any event, this and “Unplugged” were probably the last shows on MTV where the music was actually the focus.

Aside from the “randomness” of the play list, seeing videos from two or three years prior was a novelty. There weren't music sharing sites or iTunes where you could download a song that popped into your head. If you didn't have the tape or CD, you were out of luck. Not so with “Superock”, one of the videos that I remember them playing was Urban Dance Squad's “A Deeper Shade of Soul”, which has always been a favorite of mine.

The main downfall of the program was that the show was on at a really crappy time: Saturdays at midnight so there wasn't an audience for it. Anyone who'd be into a show like this was probably at a bar or at a party or simply not in front of their televisions. And after 12 weeks, it died a quick death—the death knell was that it was preempted for an MTV special of Madonna's release of her shit album “Bedtime Stories”. After that, SR never returned. Chalk that up as another crime Madonna has perpetrated on the American pop culture landscape.

Inevitably, “Superock” was a half decade ahead of its time. If the show was shelved for five more years (it was first broadcast in the winter of 1994) I am confident that it would've been a hit. The late 1990s were the hay days of the rap-rock cross over and with the seemingly randomness of the playlists—rock spliced with rap—it probably would've been something.

51.In Search Of ...

There's not a lot of things that I remember about the 1970s. When the decade ended, I was five years, three months and 22 days old. So the only things that I remember are waking up early to watch the UHF test pattern—which I called “the wheel” (I wasn't a complete psycho because it had music playing over the background), the blizzard of 1978 and a few TV shows. One of which was the Leonard Nimoy hosted “In Search Of ...”

I begin this entry with that caveat because my assumptions based are still from the eyes of a three-year-old, specifically a three-year-old who wouldn't stay in his crib at night and wound wander out to the living room to hide next to the sofa and watch as his father watched “In Search Of ...” From beginning to end, ISO was a 70s freakout to a little kid (and actually, just about anyone): from the weird beginning that featured grainy, old pictures of cults, Bigfoot and UFOs to the strange, halting music to the reenactments of whatever phenomena that the show was searching for that week to Leonard Nimoy himself; the show was a bit off putting. To a kid under five, it was down right scary.

Quick aside, the strangest thing that I found when researching this show is that there was an album dedicated to the music of “In Search Of ...” If I heard that right now, I'd probably crap my pants in terror. Though I'd love to find it. If anyone knows where I can get this, drop me a line.

One of my earliest memories is seeing the orange back drop of the ending credits where the flashing pictures of Amelia Earhart, a castle on Loch Ness, a ceremony at Stonehenge and other “spooky” things flashed on the screen (the screen grab above, shows what the title screen was like and it's was similar to the credit screen). BTW, I don't mean to suggest that Amelia Earhart was scary, but for some reason when I was younger black and white photos bugged me and add that to the fact that she was a part of ISO and she may as well have been Darth Vader. After seeing those credits I remember running back to my room, putting a pillow over my head and trying to go to sleep.

So, yes, this entry has more to do with child trauma than anything.

Right now you're probably wondering how a show that was obviously so scarring, could be considered a favorite. Good question. As with a lot of childhood things remembered later, you begin to wonder if it really was that bad. For the most part, you never get to see what spooked you as a kid and you're left wondering if you were truly scared or just young. Luckily for me, during the mid-90s A&E reran the show and to my surprise, it was well done and most of the episodes weren't terrifying at all. Even the ending credits were tame—though I did get that embedded nostalgic scare a half second before they ran (the first time I watched the reruns). You'll be happy to know that unless you find a gaffer or a best boy frightening, the end credits aren't so bad.

As I continued watching the show in reruns, my nostalgia turned into a general fondness for the program. Even though I assumed that every episode was either about Bigfoot, UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster or ghosts—because this was the first TV show I can remember and most of the first books I read, which were written in the 70s, were about this stuff, I sincerely believed that every person in the 1970s had either a ghost or monster living around them—the fact remains there was a lot of good, historical stuff being covered. And it was done is a way where it wasn't beating you over the head with biased information.

According to Wikipedia, there were six seasons (1977-1982) of ISO and 144 episodes were produced. The program was spun off from two movie-length documentaries “In Search of Ancient Astronauts” (which was the film version of the seminal alien close encounter story, “Chariots of the Gods”) and “In Search of Ancient Mysteries”, both hosted by Rod Sterling. When Serling died, Nimoy (who was already a God in the world of Science Fiction, thanks to his turn as Mr. Spock on “Star Trek”) took over the hosting job.

And I'm glad as ISO wouldn't have been even half the show it was without Nimoy. Sure Serling had a pretty good resume of hosting weird programs, but Nimoy (and I can't believe I'm going to say this) brought a sort of smoothness to the show that Serling's halting, speech patterns wouldn't have lent. That was another terrific thing about the show, it never tried to convince you that what you were seeing was absolutely true. The opening monologue said it all:

"This series presents information based in part on theory and conjecture. The producer's purpose is to suggest some possible explanations, but not necessarily the only ones, to the mysteries we will examine."

It's almost as if they were saying, “You want to believe in the Amityville Horror? That's cool. Here's a few reasons why it might be true.” And that what makes the show different from any documentaries on today, it allowed the audience to make up their own mind. With that being said, there's probably no way that they could make a show like this today. There are far too many ways of getting information and unless there is an obvious angle to the mystery, the modern audience won't want to watch it.

Forget about the rip-off show that came along four years after “In Search Of ...” was taken off the air (the Robert Stack hosted “Unsolved Mysteries”), ISO was really the forefather of a genre of cables channels that includes the History Channel and the Discovery Channel. To appeal to today's viewers, many of the ISO-inspired shows on these channels have to ratchet up the suspense factor. This means murder and violence.

For a show that dealt with mysterious topics, many of them were non violent. Just looking at the list of show topics, I could only find one real episode based on a serial killer (Jack the Ripper), two if you include the one on Jim Jones. Today, a program like this would need to have a few episodes on serial killers (Manson, Zodiac, Nightstalker, etc) to capture anyone's attention. Like the oft-repeated mantra of tabloid television, if it bleeds, it leads. That goes for unsolved mysteries shows too.

And that's a shame, because it seems like even the things that freak us out have grown bigger.

Boring is the Head that Wears the Crown

Aside from the easy signings of their veteran free agents (Mike Lowell and Curt Schilling), this has been a quiet winter for the boys from Yawkey Way. Actually that's not true, they did manage to scrape together $600,000 and resign backup catcher Doug Mirabelli.

Not to get all Dennis Miller on you, but can I go off on a rant for a second: I understand the reasons behind Red Sox signing Dougie Parmesan: it's a fairly cheap salary and he provides insurance in case the real backup catcher they sign can't seem to handle Tim Wakefield's knuckle ball. I get this. But you mean to tell me that there is no one out there that is better than Mirabelli? Really?

Two years ago, he was coming off an atrocious season and last year he was all but washed up with a .202/.278/.360 and five homers and 16 RBIs. Just about anyone would be able to reach those numbers and most catchers should be able to pass these numbers. Wait. I forgot. There's only one person on the planet that can catch Tim Wakefield's knuckler and that's Mirabelli. Doug Mirabelli didn't come to Boston knowing how to catch a knuckle ball, through hard work and practice he became proficient at it. The same can happen for either a young catcher in the organization or one from outside Boston.

In the long run, a team's backup catcher is small potatoes; but it can hurt the Sox one way: more playing time for Varitek. I'm not saying that Varitek stinks, he doesn't, but he's going to turn 36 this season (same as Mirabelli) and catcher magically lose their effectiveness after age 35. Having a young or at least capable backstop behind Varitek could allow him to catch a few more games in the upcoming season and keep him fresh for October.

Put it this way, you're Terry Francona, you'd love to give Varitek a night off but the only option you have is Doug Mirabelli and his Mendoza-line average. Do you risk losing more offense or do you roll the dice and hope that Varitek doesn't get hurt and doesn't wear down. I think you choose the latter and cross your fingers. That's a crappy way to manage.

Rant over.

Since there isn't a lot of Red Sox moves to analyze, lets take a peek at some moves that recently happened around the majors and some potential moves (mostly happening with the Orioles).

The St. Louis Cardinals trade 3B Scott Rolen to the Toronto Blue Jays for 3B Troy Glaus. This is one of those straight up, you take my headache and I'll take you headache that sometimes work out well for both teams. This is the second city that Rolen has shot his way out of—though to be honest any enemy of Tony LaRusa is a friend of mine—and he's starting to get a reputation. He also has a bum shoulder and $36 million left on his contract. He should hit ok in the Blue Jays lineup where he'll be expected to be just a contributor and not a main cog and should shore up their infield defense.

Glaus is a little younger, has less cash and years in his contract and has a lot more power. His problem is that he may be on the drugs. The performance enhancing drugs. That's not good for business, though the Cards fans took to Mark McGwire rather famously. You know who won't take to Glaus? Cardinals pitching. In the words of “Major League” manager Lou Brown, Glaus is going to be doing that Dorn “Ole bullshit”. Only Tony LaRusa won't make him do pushups—maybe he'll make him do a shot for every ball that goes by him. He still has the power though and that should be a lot more helpful behind Albert Pujols than anything Rolen was going to contribute.

And if you're a fan of the disabled list, both of these guys will probably make an appearance at one point or another this season.

What does this mean for the Red Sox? It gets a notorious Sox killer (Glaus) out of the division and into the heartland of America. And it gets a guy who has seen his power sapped over the last few years into a Toronto uniform. While Rolen may steal a hit or two from the Sox during the season, I'm not sure if that adds up to winning a game with a bomb in the eighth or ninth which is what Glaus is wont to do occasionally. My take: win for the Sox.

The Oakland Athletics trade OF Mark Kotsay to the Atlanta Braves for Ps Joey Devine and Jamie Richmond. According to Rotoworld.com, Devine is a potential closer who has a lot of giddyap on his fastball while Richmond could project to be a fifth starter some day. Both prospects were ranked in the top 20 of Atlanta's system. Before John Schurholtz left the Braves, there was barely a chance that he'd get snookered out of two worthwhile prospects, but Frank Wren is running the ship now and he doesn't have the same benefit of the doubt. Especially when Oakland GM Billy Beane is on the other end of the trade table.

With Devine in tow, this probably means that closer Huston Street's days in the home of Digital Underground (that's Oaktown to those who don't know) could be numbered. And if they're going to get rid of Street and they've already said good bye to Kotsay, Dan Harren and Nick Swisher; Joe Blanton, Eric Chavez and Bobby Crosby probably won't be sticking around too long either. So, it's rebuilding time by the Bay with an eye towards their new park which opens in a few years.

As far as Mark Kotsay? He was hurt last year and when he did play (56 games) he was terrible (.214/.279/.296). You have to think that the Braves feel that he has made a full recovery will go back to the years when he was batting between .275 and .315 and slugging at a .459 clip, while playing a decent center field.

What does this mean for the Sox? Aside from getting another team to bludgeon, the Sox lost a potential trading partner in Atlanta. The Braves were supposed to be hot and heavy for Coco Crisp. Looks like they don't need him any more. And that means the list of of teams that reportedly wanted Crisp (White Sox, Rangers, Twins and Braves) has now been halved (Swisher was sent to the ChiSox, though Kenny Williams does have the flexibility of putting Swisher in left and Coco in center).

See anyone you like on Baltimore? Make them an offer. If the newspapers and the Internet are to be believed (and when have they steered us wrong?) the Orioles are very close to sending their only good pitcher (Erik Bedard) to the Seattle Mariners for a boatload of prospects including center fielder of the future Adam Jones, right hander Chris Tillman or Jeff Clement, shortstop Carlos Triunfel and reliever George Sherrill. The best Mariners blog USS Mariner is dead set against this deal because they feel that Triunfel and Jones are going to be major stars. And they would absolutely kill themselves if Clement was somehow involved in this deal too (this is supposedly the Mariner's sticking point).

They feel that because Bedard is going to be owed so much money in the future (he's a free agent after the 2009 season) and that the players are so good, the M's will be setting themselves back a few years if they make this trade.

Another Mitchell boy, second baseman Brian Roberts is also rumored to be on the move. He's supposedly going to the North Side of Chicago for Ronny Cedeno, Sean Gallagher and Sean Marshall. Marshall and Gallagher are both pitchers, while Cedeno is a shortstop. These guys aren't on the caliber of ball players as the Mariners are giving up, but they are all solid prospects who have the potential to become contributing major leaguers. And that's something that the Orioles don't have too much of.

What does this mean for the Sox? In the short run, both of these trades are great for the Sox as it gets rid of a terrific pitcher and one of the best hitters on a division rival. And since new GM Andy McPhail is going in a complete rebuilding mode (Miguel Tejada was traded to the Astros last month), that adds a couple of more wins to the Sox tally. However, these guys are going to get their seasoning and will eventually turn pretty good. So if you combine a now stocked minor league with the riches of Peter Angelos, they could be a bit of problem in the future.

Minnesota is going to trade Johan Santana to the Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees or New York Mets. Seriously. They're gonna. I swear. When I heard about this deal way back in December, I was pumped. A legit ace being traded to either the Sox or the Yanks, big drama in the offseason. It has turned out to be the biggest cock tease of the last 20 years. I almost wish that he stays in Minnesota.

One day the Yankees say they're in the Santana derby, the next day they say that they're out. Minnesota is crying because no team is going to give them the prospects that they want for the best left hander of the past five years, still in his prime. And that reason is simple, the guy wants $20 million a year for the next seven years. Even the Yankees aren't that crazy.

Meanwhile, the Sox are sitting back telling Minnesota; “You have our two best offers, pick one or don't we could care less.” Boston is sitting pretty with their rotation and team in general for this season and while they would love to get Johan, they don't need him. Plus, if recent history is any indicator Minnesota is going to end up giving him to Boston anyway just like they did with David Ortiz, Kevin Garnett and Randy Moss.

Remember that while the Yankees need Johan, but they don't desperately need him like ...

The New York Mets do. With the biggest late-season collapse still fresh in the memories of the players and the fans, the Mets have to do something to get that terrible taste out of their collective mouths. Getting Johan Santana would be the perfect after dinner mint. He could slide into another lefthander's place in the rotation (Tom Glavine) and the Mets would be much better for it. Plus, with their new park opening in 2009, the Mets would like a centerpiece pitcher. John Maine ain't that guy.

Right now, the only thing that's holding this transaction up is that the Twins want this to be a five-for-one deal, while the Mets are holding out for a four-for-one trade. The Twins will only agree to a four-for-one swap if the Mets throw in Jose Reyes. That's not going to happen.

Either way, Minnesota is going to get all of the Mets good young players (it really doesn't matter who) and New York is going to have to pray that Santana's elbow is ok. The last time the Mets and Twins made a deal like this, Minnesota sent LHP Frank Viola home to Flushing for a package that included Rick Aguilera, Kevin Tapani, David West and one more. The first two did pretty well in the Twin Cities, while Viola did ok in New York and Boston (two of his three years as a Sox were highly underrated) before bouncing around to Cincinnati and Toronto. If the Twins could recoup that kind of package, they'd be happy. BTW, the year after they traded Viola, they won the World Series.

What does this mean for the Sox? If the Mets get Santana, it's a win-win-win for the Sox. Win #1, he's not going to the Yankees. Win #2, the Mets getting Santana could tweak new Lil' Boss Hank Steinbrenner and force him into a panic move. Win #3, the Sox keep the money earmarked for Santana and their prospects and hope that a few turn out ok.

Less than one month until pitchers, catchers and Doug Mirabelli report to Fort Myers. Thank God.

52.Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives

When the Food Network first began operating in 1993, the concept bothered me. Eating is a tangible experience, what's the fun of watching someone cook and create an abundance of great food when you can't have a taste? To an eater like me, it was more torture than pleasure.

Plus, there were only two types of food programs: cooking shows and restaurant shows. Like it's distant cousin painting shows, ala Bob Ross or Cap'n Bob, cooking shows move too quickly for you to scribble down recipes or try to make the meal in concert with the host. And the host was usually some unattractive Frau like Julia Child or some guy. Nothing really appealing in either sense. Basically, you're watching something that you're never going to do yourself; unless you take the effort to find the recipe, copy it down and then make it yourself. That's a lot of work.

And restaurant shows are inherently useless unless you happen to live in the area where the restaurant is being reviewed. Who cares if the Hungry Heifer in Butte, Montana got four stars? I'm probably not going there and if I did find myself there, I probably wouldn't remember the restaurant's name anyway.

That all changed once I actually started watching the Food Network a few years ago. The channel has long ago shed the image that cooking shows had to be hosted by personalities without personalities. Some of the women, like Giada DeLaurentiis and Rachel Ray, are pleasing to look at. They've come up with interesting ideas about the science behind food and why things taste good (I will be covering this in the “Good Eats” entry), reality shows about a cake store in Baltimore (trust me, “Ace of Cakes” is a lot better than it sounds) plus shows like “Iron Chef America” and answers the question to “What ever happened to the guy who hosted 'Double Dare'?”

Marc Summers is the former host's name and he is actually on a couple of Food Network shows, most notably “Unwrapped” which tracks the history of popular foods. An interesting fact: Summers suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder, which must have driven him crazy when he was hosting “Double Dare” and kids were throwing all sorts of crap at each other.

That little aside leads us to “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” which is hosted by Guy Fieri. The basic gist of the show is that each episode Fieri various holes-in-the-wall throughout the country to find the best tasting food that fits the theme of the day's program. Sometimes it will be about the best cheeseburger, other times the best local hangout or the best breakfast. Then Fieri interacts with the owners, workers and customers.

At first blush Fieri seems like a bit of a tool, using outdated phrases like “money” and “da bomb” while pounding fists. But despite his frat boy mannerisms, he actually seems like a fun person to hang out with and he's definitely the correct fit for a program like this. An accomplished chef who graduated from UNLV during the Runnin' Rebels' NCAA dominance years, Fieri won the second season of “The Next Food Network Star” and also hosts “Guy's Big Bite” on the same channel. When it comes to food, he definitely knows what he's talking about. His big personality does give the show a fun quality and keeps the people who run these diners—who probably have never been on camera and are nervous as hell—at ease.

The latter part is most important because if Fieri was bouncing around and the diner owners were as stiff as day old bread, the show wouldn't work. Fieri banters back and forth, tries to figure out the “secret ingredients” of the signature dishes and is just enjoying himself.

And who wouldn't enjoy a gig like that? I'm sure that the Food Network doesn't make Fieri drive to every location like the show intimates, but he gets to do a lot of traveling on someone else's dime and gets to sample a lot of great faire that he probably wouldn't have a chance to do. Because of this, it's the perfect escape show.

One of my biggest regrets is not buying a convertible automobile after I graduated college and just crisscross the state for the summer. There's a lot of exceptional things to see in this country that you can't see by flying from one coast to the other or spending your time in a state's most populous city. “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” shows the viewer the food the missed hidden jewels and more importantly, the stories by the owners of these places.

I've been a purveyor of greasy spoons my entire life, but I've also missed a few places here and there. Fieri actually went to a diner in Somerville, MA that was about three blocks from my old apartment. I'm not exactly sure why I never went there when I lived there, but you can bet that it's on my list of places to go before I move out of Boston proper.

And that's a great philosophy of living your life: trying new things, taking the time to actually speak with people and find out their stories. In this age where we have any information we'd ever need at our fingertips, we often don't find the time to get the real interesting nuggets of information. That's the stuff that makes life so sweet.

For example in 1910, Cleveland's Nap Lajoie beat out Detroit's Ty Cobb for the American League batting championship by one percentage point (.384 to .383). Pretty straight forward, right? Wrong. At the beginning of the season, a car manufacturer offered a new car to the player who won the batting crown, on the penultimate day of the 1910 season Cobb was leading Lajoie by a slim margin which infuriated the rest of the league, because Cobb was such a dick and no one wanted to see him win the car. So the team playing Cleveland (I think it was St. Louis) began making errors on purpose so that Lajoie would win the title—errors counted as hits before this and Lajoie went 5-5 on the final day bringing his average above the Georgia Peach. Cobb, of course, was beyond pissed and never forgot this slight.

53.The Andy Griffith Show

For a stereotypical cynical slacker like myself, “The Andy Griffith Show” would seem to be the last show that you would expect to find on a list like this. Especially since I don't enjoy it ironically like “Leave it to Beaver”. The list ranking of TAGS is based on its own merits and to add a caveat, this is only for the black and white episodes -- I've never seen the ones filmed in color.

What's there to like about the show; it's not particularly “real” or cutting edge. It doesn't really speak to where I'm from (geographically, socially and generationally) but it does say something. Much like “My Name is Earl”, after I watch TAGS I feel pretty good about myself and the world at large. Sure, the show is moralistic and some of the wisdom is corn-fed and homespun, however that's ok. That's what the show is about: being good to your fellow person and respecting them. The show has never apologized for this stance and they shouldn't because the Golden Rule is one that we should be trying to live by, not explain away. (Note: I am writing this the day after I made my New Year's resolution, so I still have a lot of optimism about myself and the human condition)

A lot of the things that make me laugh usually has some sort of disrespect tied to it; from making fun of someone to laughing at the shortcomings and bad luck of somebody else, I normally find that very humorous. And I know that I'm not alone, nor is this a new form of humor. Yes, during the past 15 years or so comedy culled from irony, sarcasm and cynicism has grown in leaps and bounds, but it's always been there. Don Rickles made an entire career on calling audience members hockey pucks and George Carlin and Lenny Bruce used sarcasm as an observational—mostly truth-telling sabre—that cut through the bullshit of the 60s.

Which brings us to “The Andy Griffith Show”. If you haven't seen an episode lately, Andy Taylor (played by Andy Griffith) was the single-fathered Sheriff of a small town in North Carolina called Mayberry who dispensed wisdom more than he threw people in jail. His son Opie was played by Ron Howard and his deputy and cousin Barney Fife was played by Don Knotts. Taylor's Aunt Bea (Francis Bavier) kept house and a variety of the town's characters (Floyd the barber, Otis the town drunk and Gomer and Goober) kept things interesting.

Andy is easily the most intelligent person in town and the bulk of his day is spent dealing with the less intelligent townsfolk. While I wouldn't call the average Mayberrian and idiot, they aren't far from idiot county. What makes this show work is that Andy doesn't lord his intelligence (which is really clear-thinking wisdom, Andy isn't about to split the atom any time soon) over the people he interacts with. Having an island of intelligence in a sea of stupidity has long been a (cliched) comedy staple, but the writers of TAGS don't normally stoop to that level. Andy treats his friends and people that he lives with a certain amount of respect and in turn they treat him that way too.

For example, Taylor knows that Barney Fife shouldn't be within 100 yards of a handgun, but he's a cop so he has to have one. Because he doesn't want him to shoot his big toe off, Taylor tells Fife to leave the gun unloaded and keep one bullet in his shirt pocket. Of course, Taylor doesn't tell Fife his reasoning which is why Barney goes along with his instructions.

Taylor deals with circumstances like this every day and with every person in the town.

As sheriff and brightest bulb in Mayberry Andy is the de facto mayor and if he wanted to, could use that position to his advantage. He doesn't. The only time that Andy's hackles are raised is when an outsider comes to town and tries to pull one over on the townspeople. When this occurs (and this was a story that the writers went to the well for a lot) Andy usually plays the “Aww-shucks, backward Southerner who is really smarter than expected” role to the hilt sending the offenders scurrying for the nearest big city where they can try to sandbag someone “less wily”.

In fact, this is essentially how the show began. Originally a spin off of “Make Room for Daddy”, Andy busts Danny Thomas (the star of MRFD) for running a stop sign. Thomas tries to big league Taylor and spends time in jail which makes him late for his show. After figuring out that he needs to respect Taylor and the Mayberry ways, Thomas is released and the audience learns that despite their modern conveniences and new ways city slickers don't always have it over their country bumpkin cousins.

Home style wisdom being the best solutions and life was better in an uncomplicated time were both undercurrents of the show. Many of the people who had televisions when this show was popular lived in the urban or suburban areas and had fast-paced, modern lifestyles. This show was an ode to slow living and patience. And since nothing catastrophic ever happened in Mayberry, one could argue that the overall message of the series was that the modern world is moving too quickly. One needs to stroll down main street, stop every once in awhile and talk face-to-face with your neighbors—learn about your surroundings. The end result is that you'll probably have a friendly society filled with more respect (BTW, I've alluded to or said the word “respect” more times in this essay that Ali G ever did during his show).

I think that is why I enjoy watching this show. I was born in 1974 so I am going to have to assume that most towns and cities weren't actually like this during the early 1960s. Petty grievances and gripes come up all the time and can not be solved in 30 minutes (minus commercials) with a drawl and some of Aunt Bea's famous peach cobbler. In real life, minor grievances and gripes tend to fester and turn into generational feuds that ruin families and destroy communities. But during this program, even if someone is angry with another, they always respected them enough to work their differences out.

And the respect that Andy, an officer of the law, is shown on a day-to-day basis is also refreshing. As someone who graduated a suburban high school the year after the Rodney King incident, blasted NWA's “Fuck the Police” from his father's Ford Tempo and has bitched about personal interactions with John Law (parking fines and speeding infractions) this reason may seem a bit odd. Though, I think that much of society's ills towards law enforcement is the result of the disrespect of the badge.

I've read articles and pieces about people who said that when they were kids, the neighborhood police officer was a position of great respect. Kids were taught that cops were their friends and should be the first person to run to while in trouble. During the last few decades, these thoughts have been turned on its ear. I've heard parents use the police as a scare tactic or worse, a threat; as in “If you're not good I'll have that policeman over there throw you in jail.” How does teaching a child to fear authority also show them to trust and respect the police? It doesn't; this type of parenting creates paranoia and disrespect towards authority.

Sheriff Taylor didn't have to deal with that and as such his town was a virtual utopia. Crime was nonexistent, people seemed happy. Of course respect is a two-way street and to pretend that there aren't crooked cops or people who mistake their badge as an all-access pass to take advantage of any and all situations would be naïve.

This idyllic world is a great world to live in, even if it is only for 30 minutes (minus commercials) and it's in black and white.

Bit of trivia for you: the title of the infectious theme song is called “The Old Swimming Hole”. I had no idea about that until today.

54. The Odd Couple

"On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. (Unger's unseen wife slams door. She reopens it and angrily hands Felix his saucepan) That request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that someday, he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his childhood friend, Oscar Madison. Sometime earlier, Madison's wife had thrown him out, requesting that he never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?"

There are a lot of ways to set the scene of a sitcom; but for my money there has never been a better way of doing so than this. Never heard of “The Odd Couple”? Just tune in to the opening credits and you’ll know everything that you need to know about the premise of the show.

The scenario isn’t overly original, there have always been odd couples from Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton to Wally Cleaver and Eddie Haskell but Felix Unger (Tony Randall) and Oscar Madison (Jack Klugman) set the new gold standard. You know the story: Unger was the anal retentive neat freak photographer while Madison was the compulsive slob sports writer. From the above the surface neat vs. messy dynamic to the undercurrent of words vs. pictures, Madison and Unger were as different as can be.

Yet they survived with each other for five solid seasons.

And that’s what the mid to late 60s were all about; surviving with someone that you have nothing in common with for the better good. I know that before the television show there was the play and the movie, but for a generation the television version of the “Odd Couple” is the only version that resonates. And like a number of other shows aired during that time, the comedy was garnered from surviving with someone that was foisted on to you by uncontrollable circumstances.

In that way, the “Odd Couple” is a lot like two other shows I’ve discussed (“The Brady Bunch” and “Gilligan’s Island”). Look at early episodes of the Bradys, those kids hated each other and weren’t happy with their parents for sticking them with another three siblings. And with Gilligan, the original idea behind the show was to put –isms aside in order to thrive. The Howells were clearly classists, but they needed working schlubs like the Skipper and Gilligan to survive. The professor obviously had no use for idiots, yet he need Mary Ann and Ginger in order to eat.

This type of programming was radical for the time. The Bradys and Gilligan were obviously geared for kids, but “The Odd Couple” was aimed at adults. Shows like these were the bridge from family-friendly entertainment like “The Patty Duke Show”, “Gidget” and the like to the Norman Lear “serious” comedies that preceded it. “All in the Family”, “The Jeffersons”, etc. were great programs and probably would’ve been hits, but without shows like “The Odd Couple” it would’ve taken much longer.

For one reason, it showed the viewing audience that it’s ok to tackle something like divorce and that the results of divorce don’t mean that the person has to walking around with a scarlet D on their chest. If Americans can handle that, then an episode about a menopausal Jean Stapleton is only a hop, skip and jump away.

The great thing about “The Odd Couple” wasn’t that the show wasn’t really heavy; in fact I don’t recall a serious episode. Divorce was a bit more serious subject a generation and a half ago (sure the Brady boys’ mother died, but what the heck ever happened to Carol’s husband .. see a fate worse than death itself), but TOC was a light hearted look at it. The show proved that it actually could be sort of fun, as long as Felix Unger wasn’t your roommate. Their relationship, which bore the comedy crux of the show, was more mother-son than friend-friend. And while that was funny, Oscar telling Felix off was the best part. Because although you love mom, when you’re 14 who doesn’t want to tell her to leave you alone?

And make no mistake about it, Oscar was the consummate 14-year-old; he’d have his buddies over for poker every week, he played the horses, he threw crap all over the floor. Felix always cleaned up after him and he did it in the most obnoxious way possible: by lecturing him and making faces. It was great.

With two different actors, the characters of Felix and Oscar could either be completely obnoxious, flat or worse of all—forced. Klugman and Randall (especially Randall) were able to bring some sort of humanity to their archtypes. I know that this is probably heresy to say this about two characters written by Neil Simon (and to be fair, he wrote one play—there was more than over 100 episodes), but one guy was a slob and the other was a neatnik. That’s it. “Your motivation in this scene Jack, is that you don’t like to pick things up and when Tony tells you to, you get mad.”

With anyone else, this show could’ve turned into “Shasta McNasty” after three episodes. Both Klugman and Randall brought something else to the table, which is probably why this show is an all-time classic. If either was off, it wouldn’t matter how good the other was. Playing a walking cliché is tough, but these two brought their A games every single week. If you met or had to live with either one in real life you’d want to kill them, but each week you tuned in to see what they were up to.

The one thing that rang a bit untrue was the opening credits, specifically the end where Oscar and Felix are in Central Park and are dancing around a May Pole with a bunch of little kids. Huh? I don’t get this. Maybe Felix would do this; he had a little girl and maybe she wanted her daddy to dance around a pole with her friends. But Oscar? Mr. Big Time Sports Writer? That was a little weird. Whatever, every show needs an unsolved mystery, even if it’s a little one.

Play for me Johan Santana

You're the Boston Red Sox. You have won the American League East, the American League pennant and the World Series Championship (the second time in four years). You have a bonafide stud pitcher in Josh Beckett, a potential stud in Daisuke Matsuzaka (both under 28-years-old) and two veterans who probably have something left in the tank in Curt Schilling and Tim Wakefield. You also have a slew of prospects that have done well in their brief call-ups (Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz) plus a bunch of kids on the farm.

You want the best left handed pitcher of the last ten years but you don't need him as much as your chief rival to the south does. If you mortgage the farm and paid upwards of $20 million a year for the next five years, you can pretty much count on going to the playoffs every year for the next half a decade. Do you trade for him?

(The last two paragraphs employ a style that New York Daily News columnist Jimmy Cannon made famous. I didn't intentionally think about writing the first couple of sentences like this, but I guess I was influenced by Cannon's collection of columns bound into the book, “Nobody Asked Me, But ...” which I am currently reading. It's a decent read if you care about sports from the 50s and 60s and you should be able to get it at a used bookstore.)

Let's look at what we do know: despite a mediocre record last year (which doesn't really mean a hell of a lot) and the fact that he gave up way more home runs than he did during any point in his career, with the Red Sox, Johan Santana is a lock to win at least 18 games. You slot him as your number two guy after Beckett and the Sox staff gets longer. Daisuke, who I think is going to have a monster year this year, goes to three, Schilling goes to four and either Wakefield or Buchholz takes the fifth slot. Even with an injury, either Wakefield or Buchholz takes the injured pitcher's spot and the Sox don't miss a beat.

No one can match this rotation. Not the Yankees, who on their best days have three number two guys (Wang, Pettitte and Mussina) and a couple of kids (Kennedy, Hughes and maybe Chamberlain). But the wheels on Pettitte and Mussina could easily come off (as Schilling and Wakefield's could) and Wang proved during last year's post season that he's not an elite star. And how good are the rookies? They are pinning their hopes for two fifths of their rotation on kids. Is that a recipe for success? I don't know.

Now, let's look at what we don't know: is Santana coming down from his super star stratosphere? It would seem that the answer is no, as his peripherals were still solid last year. But what if he spits the bit in Boston? What if the number of players that the Sox give (and there are some reports that this could be a five-for-one swap) almost dry out the system making other in season trades impossible? Is the money that Santana will command worth it? Does the check he cashes eventually trickle down to Beckett, David Ortiz, etc.? Guys that were here, proved themselves in Boston and now want to be paid as much as the new guy?

Obviously, you can't worry about the latter question, but one thing you could concern yourself about is what I heard a few weeks ago on WEEI, a Twins beat writer from one of the Twin Cities (I can't remember who it was) expressed thoughts that Santana could be nicked up a bit, which is why he was hit harder last year than in previous years. He claims that Santana wasn't throwing the slider as much because his elbow was killing him. I have no doubts that the Sox will do their due diligence in checking over the medical records, but the injury concern will always be there for a guy who has thrown the amount of innings that Santana has.

I suppose that one has to look back at the last times that the Sox made a transaction such as this. In 2005 Boston sent Hanley Ramirez, Anibel Sanchez and two minor leaguers to the Florida Marlins for Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell. The rap on Beckett was that he'd eventually cost big money (the Fish were selling him on the cheap because they were afraid of Beckett's up coming arbitration case and the Sox had to take Lowell because he was making too much cash). Ramirez has turned into one of, if not the best, shortstops in the National League. Sanchez threw a no-hitter his rookie year and had solid numbers, but was hurt for most of last year and the other two kids haven't made the bigs yet.

Despite concerns about arms injuries (there was actually a rumor floating around that Beckett's agent told the righthander to go on an extended Texas hunting trip so that he could not be reached if the Sox called to inquire about it) and blister questions, Beckett has been as good as advertised. It took him a season to get settled (which is why I think Matsuzaka is going to be great in 2008) but he won 20 games and destroyed the Angels, Indians and Rockies during the 2007 post season.

In 1997, the Red Sox were desperate for a starter since the Steve Avery experiment failed miserably and Boston GM Dan Duquette sent highly regarded prospects Carl Pavano and Tony Armas Jr. to the Montreal Expos for Pedro Martinez. This is a more apt comparison because people were questioning Pedro's body size (too small), acumen (“wild” headhunter who played before just family and friends at Olympic Stadium) and add in the fact that he wanted a big contract extension. How did it turn out for the Sox? Pedro was absolutely transcendent for most of his Boston career—the pitching numbers he threw up at the end of the century were among the best ever, perhaps all time if you take into account the era and home park he played in as well as the team behind him. He was a main cog in the 2004 championship. Pavano and Armas are both good pitchers, but they aren't Pedro.

What I'm saying is that the Red Sox were able to win two World Series Championships in direct result of trading youth for known greatness. In the long run, were these trades worth it? If you're the Sox, no matter how good Ramirez does or how well Pavano pitched, yes these trades were worth it because the bottom line for this franchise is winning. Were the Boston Red Sox a better team with Pedro Martinez and Josh Beckett? Yes. Would they have been able to win a World Series without either? It's hard to say, but probably not.

The beauty of having a lot young chips is cashing them in for a guy like Martinez or Beckett or Santana. You can't have everyone in your rotation or in your starting lineup. The trick is to keep the great ones and trade the good ones.

Do these history lessons make the trade a slam dunk? Of course not, but judging how this same scenario played out twice in the recent past plus the added caveat of keeping Santana away from the Yankees, one would have to think that the Red Sox should do whatever they can to import another star from Minnesota.

55.Law And Order

Even if you hate cop or lawyer shows, you've seen at least one episode.

There have been about 10 different spin-offs (actually there are four) of this show, but only one holds a small place in my heart and that's the original “Law and Order”. You know the one, Chris Noth or Jesse L. Martin or Benjamin Bratt is paired off with either Jerry Orbach or Dennis Farina as the no-nonsense cops on the Law side. And Sam Waterston is the crusty executive assistant District Attorney with the semi-hot assistant and has Fred Thompson or Steven Hill (Diane Weist absolutely sucked) is his boss on the Order side.

The show has been on since September of 1990 and is shown on a perpetual rerun loop on TNT every single day.

Despite its omnipresence, “Law and Order” is a good show. It's just thoughtful enough to keep you engaged, but it's not so taxing as to make you run to the local law library to review cases. Quite frankly, TNT has this correct: it's the perfect show for the daytime set.

A typical episode begins like this: two people are usually walking around a borough of New York City talking about something that has nothing to do with the case. Sometimes, the initial conversation is more intriguing than the actual show. They come across someone who was murdered or raped and murdered or robbed, raped and murdered. In any event the person is dead. The two people stop their conversation and call the cops.

The normal cops will either set up a tight perimeter or screw something up royally which will get one of the detectives to yell at them. The latter doesn't happen that much and I'm convinced that when it does it's because one of the writers got a parking ticket or some other small infraction with the law and needs to let out some residual anger. It's usually pretty good.

Once the detectives are on the scene, they begin picking up clues like there's no tomorrow, only they can't always piece them together themselves so it's back to the precinct where the Buddah-like Lieutenant (S. Epatha Merkson) puts most of the pieces together and tells the duo to get back out on the street and start interviewing people.

This is where you are supposed to remember that it's a television show and suspend belief for a couple of minutes. In order for the cops to make the correct bust everyone in New York city from the top CEOs to the guys pushing brooms or hot dog carts have the greatest long term memory for the benign that you'd ever want to meet.

Cop 1: “Do you remember that car that you parked next to, eight months ago?”
Witness: “You mean the 2001 silver Honda Civic sedan with a dent in the passenger side door, a scrape of paint missing from the bumper and the antenna bent a bit?”
Cop 2: “Yeah. That's the one. What can you tell us about it?”
Witness: “If I remember right it had just over 85,000 miles which I thought was funny because it looked like it should only have 84,500 miles. Also it seemed to take Ultra Plus gas instead of regular because of the residue on the pavement. Sorry that I can't give you more information than that. I only saw the car for a second.”
Cop 1: “I guess it'll have to do.”

All of this information is then used to bust the perp and bring him or her down town. While in the holding tank the detectives take the old good cop/bad cop routine to the Nth degree; throwing people up against the wall, badgering them for information, everything except beating a confession out of them. This is usually where we meet Waterston's assistant. Nine out of ten times, she's smoking hot and none was hotter than Elisabeth Rohm. Two things about Rohm: apparently she was quite the party girl in real life so seeing her dressed up and serious is probably a stretch for her and two she can't act for shit.

Who cares, because like I said, she's supposed to be hot. The woman before her, Angie Harmon, actually did a decent job though and the two after her aren't too shabby either. She gets all of the information down and sends it off to Watterston who then begins his weekly crusade against something.

Waterston does a terrific job of playing the smug, douche-y lawyer that is convinced beyond a shadow of any doubt that he is 100% right about everything. He comes in lays out the facts, tries to bully the judge, rolls his eyes at the defendant and does everything in his power to make sure the criminal goes to jail for a long time. Then it's judgement time and we go home.

Waterston's character is sort of a prick, in fact most of these characters are self-righteous pricks, but Waterston takes the cake. That's why I love it when he loses and he's awesome to root against. Because when he loses his case, man, that's just awesome. And this is no Perry Mason where Waterston wins everything, he loses his fair share; though recently with him as the DA he hasn't lost a heck of a lot – but the drama is stil there.

Why do I like this show if it's filled with a bunch of assholes and the cases (RIPPED FROM TODAY'S HEADLINES!) are fundamentally simple? Because like “Gillian's Island” and “The Brady Bunch” “Law and Order” follows a pretty simple formula every episode. You can sit back and root for the people you like, scoff at the things that are unbelievable and kvetch about the decision ... especially when the DA has the last witty retort. The show is a terrific way to kill a post-New Year's Eve, post-July 4th or post-Arbor Day hangover.

And sometimes, that's just enough.

56.Gilligan's Island / Brady Bunch

This entry isn't just about the two shows, but also about their creator: Sherwood Schwartz.

While reading a bit about him on his Wikipedia page, I found that it was interesting that Schwartz and Red Skelton hated each other. So much so that while Schwartz was a writer on Skelton's show (which did very well in the ratings), Schwartz had it written in his contract that he never had to see the star of the show face-to-face.

That's a pretty ballsy move.

It's also pretty ballsy to walk into a head of a network and claim that the idea for your new show was an allegory as to show how seven people (the seven continents) can live and work together on one island (the Earth) in peace. After the head buys the idea, Schwartz gave them “Gilligan's Island”.

Here's the thing about these two shows that will always be linked because of a lot of different reasons, but the main reason is that Schwartz created them both. And he did it in a way that was appealing to adults, but also to kids. What GI or BB, each episode was essentially the same: during the first five minutes a trivial problem (though monumental in the eyes of the protagonist) is discovered. During the next ten minutes, the main character either mopes about said problem or attempts to fix it, which results in the problem becoming even larger. During the last 15 minutes, the rest of the cast is brought in on the problem, solves it and they all live happily ever after.

The one monkey wrench in this comparison between the two shows is that “The Brady Bunch” didn't have the deus ex machina that is Gilligan. In order for the castaways to continue their show, Gilligan had to screw up every episode so that they're still stuck on the island.

This repetition of theme and plot made the shows lovable to children and teens alike. It has been proven that babies enjoy and need repetition: from white noise sounds soothing them to sleep to endlessly enjoying the same shows hour after hour. As one grows up, the familiar becomes boring, yet there is still a desire for the familiar—even if the show is “new”. I believe that Schwartz was aware of this and became the backbone of both shows.

And while he never had any more hit shows (“It's About Time” sounded terrible), that's ok because he gave the world two generational touchstones and two theme songs that most people under 60 know better than the national anthem.

Everyone knows that Gilligan is going to blow it in the end or that Mike and Carol Brady are somehow going to save the day; this is precisely why we watch. Even for thirty minutes, all is right in the world.

A few nights ago, I was watching an episode of “The Monkees” (more on them in a subsequent entry) and it occurred to me that there were a few jokes that went over my head when I was a kid—in this particular episode, Mickey was looking for a Marshal Dillon and tried to make a phone call for him. The person on the other line only had a Bob Dylan who couldn't help you, but would write a song about your troubles. That was funny to me now, but I know that I had no idea what a Marshal Dillon was or a Bob Dylan and why anyone would get them confused.

The BB and GI do not have a higher level of comedy (and that's comparing them to “the Monkees”), what you see was what you got. Bobby wasn't an archtype for Che Guerva and Mrs. Howell wasn't the personification of greed and stupidity. There is something refreshing about this one dimensionality and if I catch these shows on television today it takes me to when I was a kid. Back then I enjoyed watching a show because it was my favorite show, not because it made a social statement. And make no mistake, the kids who grew up on this stuff; whether they're black, white, yellow, or green didn't care either, they were able to identify with the characters because their struggles are universal.

Who hasn't been picked on, whacked on the head with a sailor cap, formed a song and dance troupe to compete on television for their parents' anniversary present, stole a rival school's mascot, met your favorite band and got them to perform a private concert just for you (a plot that happened on both shows-Davy Jones on BB and the Beatlesque Mosquitoes on GI). This is the reason why my grandchildren will probably be watching these shows, long after every cast member is long dead.

On a personal note, both programs bring back a ton of memories for me: watching “Gilligan's Island” on Sundays at 11:30 am at my aunt's house after we went to church and had a big breakfast meant that I was about to be shipped outside because football or baseball was about to be put on (I was too young to understand either game). And when 5:00 rolled around, I know that I could watch the Bradys and then eat dinner before it was time to do homework or go to bed. BTW, both shows were on Channel 56 in Boston.

Like I said earlier, every one wants to go back to a simpler time. It's hard-wired in our brains—just like these shows.

I'm Back ... Both New and Improved

I'm back.

What do the kids say? I was “out of pocket” or “off the grid” for awhile, but now I think that I'll be able to devote a little bit of time to the blog. Just a brief message, I don't think that any kids say “out of pocket” or “off the grid”, unless those kids are corporate suits in training.

The last time I wrote, I believe that I was in the air going from Seattle to New York for a conference in late July. Well, I landed. Aly and I also had a dog at that point in our lives, his name was Dave. Unfortunately, he died a few days after that entry. He had distemper, which is an extremely rare disease. Sucks, because he was a good dog too.

Since then I've gone toVegas for a few days (work stuff) and went to a killer party at a club called Pure that Selma Hyack may or may not have been there for. I was completely wasted and some buddies from Amesbury got me in. Also, I lost my job at TechTarget, was unemployed for a few months; which was probably the best thing that's happened to me in awhile as I saved a lot of money during that period and my sanity (I actually hated TT). In March I started a new job that I like very much.

Also, my grandmother passed away in February, which was pretty difficult and there are times when it still hurts to think about her and how I'll never see her again.

In late March, I learned that Aly was pregnant and on October 28 (on the day the Sox won their second title in two years) Giuliana Rose (after my Nina) Magrane was born. She was five weeks early, which was expected as Aly began to have complications (coleostasis – not sure if you spell it like that, probably not) and their was a need for an early birth. Anyway, she weighed at 5 pounds, 14 ounces and was 19 inches long. She's been awesome, but at the same time it's been a tremendous learning experience for both of us.

Mainly learning how to survive on very little sleep.

Also we went to Puerto Rico in July for our annual summer vacation. Pretty good, not great. And I added another stadium to my growing World Tour of Baseball Stadia. I went to Shea Stadium for the first time, as the Mets played the Dodgers in a late August battle. The place was a complete dump, good thing that they're getting a new park in 2009. I also went to Camden Yards again.

So that's what I've done in the last 16 months since I've last written. In the next few months, I'm going to completely retool the blog and focus on pop culture and some sports. Gone are any musings about my comic strip (that went down the toilet due to lack of time) and I'm really going to try and cut down on the personal stuff.

What I want to do is write a couple of essays a week about things that are either going on right now or stuff that I have percolating in my brain. My next entry will be about my personal top 56 television shows. Some entries will be long, some short, but they should be fairly interesting as I'm going to cover a wide range of stuff.

To whet your appetite, here's a list of shows that I'm going to write about:

1. The Honeymooners
2. Leave it to Beaver
3. Arrested Development
4. Mr. Show with Bob and David
5. Tom Goes to the Mayor
6. Undeclared
7. Freaks and Geeks
8. It's the Garry Shandling Show
9. The Larry Sanders Show
10. The Wire
11. The Sopranos
12. Curb Your Enthusiasm
13. Seinfeld
14. The Simpsons
15. Get A Life
16. The Office (UK and USA)
17. Scrubs
18. WKRP
19. Newsradio
20. South Park
21. Car 54, Where Are You?
22. The Daily Show
23. SuperRock
24. The State
25. 30 Rock
26. Rocky and Bullwinkle
27. Dragnet
28. The Odd Couple
29. The White Shadow
30. Magnum PI
31. Good Eats
32. Diners, Drive Ins and Dives
33. Jeopardy
34. The Monkees
35. Austin Stories
36. Moral Orel
37. Beverly Hills 90210
38. Early Adult Swim catch-all
39. Law and Order
40. King of the Hill
41. Grosse Pointe
42. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
43. Head of the Class
44. 24
45. Justice League
46. Deadwood
47. Entourage
48. In Search Of ...
49. The Banana Splits
50. Gilligan's Island/Brady Bunch
51. Chappelle's Show
52. The Andy Griffith Show
53. Action!
54. Late Night with Conan O'Brien
55. Andy Richter Controls the Universe
56. Mission Hill

Two things, this list is obviously not in any kind of order, that will be determined in the weeks to come and a few were sort of just added on to the list so that I could have an even 56. If a show or two comes to mind, they may be bumped off. As they say, check your local listings.

So that's where I'm at. Come back for more, I promise that there will be stuff here.

Mariner to Yankee

As the Onion’s Jim Anchower once said, “I know it’s been a long time since I’ve rapped to you, but I’ve been more busy than a one-armed wall paper hanger.” Ok, maybe he didn’t say it quite like that, but the fact is, I haven’t updated this Blog in about seven weeks.

Things have happened since then.

What things you may ask? Big things I will answer. For example, I am on a flight from Seattle to New York City right now, probably over Montana or one of the Dakotas. There are a million junior high European kids on this flight and each and every one of them suck. They’re running around, yelling, won’t get the fuck out of the aisles. You know, stupid shit like that. Remind me that if I ever have a kid that’s about to hit that age, to shove him in a closet until he turns 24 or so.

Never was a big fan of being that age or kids of that age. They all suck, doesn’t matter if they’re American, European or Venutian. Just a shitty age all around.

Getting back to PG, that’s program and it’s Eazy – Dre is back, new jack sounds hollow. Shit, sorry about that … slipped into an NWA trance there. Anyhow, Seattle is an interesting little town. The one thing that stuck me was how clean it is; lots of trees, not a lot of litter, very eco-friendly and green. I guess that the biases are true. I landed on Monday at about 1:00 and began to explore the city, which by the way is very walkable.

First stop was the Space Needle. Glad I went but it is overrated as hell. I paid $15 to go ride an elevator and walk around. The view was spectacular, and I’m glad I saw it because I was in Seattle and that’s what you have to do when in that city. Then my coworker Mark and I hit the Pike Open Market. I think that’s what it’s called, it’s the place where they throw fish around. Again, glad I saw it, though I’ll probably never go back.

Monday night we caught the Mariners and Joel Pineraro take on the Toronto Blue Jays and Casey Jansen. The M’s won in a rather forgettable game. Safeco Field is awesome though, probably the best stadium that I’ve ever been to. The sight lines were awesome, it doesn’t look like that there is a bad seat in the house with plenty of elbow room. They had concession stands every 20 feet and of course, beer vendors. That was awesome.

To my surprise the Blue Jays travel well as there were a lot of Toronto fans in the crowd, including one woman wearing a Pat Borders jersey. Not to steal Seinfeld’s riffs, but what is the deal with Pat Borders? When I saw the BJs play in 1994 at the Sky Dome there were a bunch of chicks who screamed for Borders every time he was up, calling him “gorgeous”.

Speaking of BJs, there were these three really hot Blue Jay fans, all dressed alike, that made the trek to support their team and they were constantly holding up a sign proclaiming their love of BJs. There’s just something about a bunch of hot chicks, dressed alike (hair in pig tails, black hats, skirts and tank tops) double fisting and screaming that gets the old heart pumping. Not sure what it is though.

The following day I had to work, but after that I made the pilgrimage to Ebbets Field Flannels. The store is awesome and has been a place that I’ve wanted to see since I bought my first throw back Seattle Bombers football shirt from them in the late 90s. I ended up chatting with the workers and bought myself a cool San Francisco Seals long sleeve jersey.

Following that, I walked a bit more around the city, stopping into a local burger joint called Turf. Great food, just an awesome burger … probably the best I’ve had in years. And they had crinkle cut fries, always a bonus no matter where you are. The best part? The cost was a steal, $5.50 for the entire meal (including drink). If you’re in Seattle and don’t mind a greasy spoon dive, check this place out, I believe it’s on the corner of Second Street and Pike.

As I left Seattle the one thing that stayed with me is the number of homeless people that live in the city. I remember once reading that Seattle and Portland have the highest number of homeless people in the country, but I wasn’t prepared for the amount fo transients that I encountered. They weren’t mean or pushy, but there is a ton of them, yet they mostly keep to themselves. I wonder if this is a problem for civic leaders?

Aside from traveling to exotic cities like Seattle, I’ve been really busy. About two weeks ago, Aly and I made the leap and bought a puppy. It’s party lab, part beagle and his name is Dave. Naturally, he’s named after former Red Sox centerfielder Dave Henderson, whom I’ve always wanted to honor for being responsible for my becoming a baseball fan and in particular a Boston Red Sox fan.

It was his homer in the bottom of Game 5 of the 1986 American League Championship Series against the Angels that got me to realize that a baseball game is never over until the last pitch is thrown. Sounds like a cliché, right? It’s true. And if you don’t believe check out the DVD set of the 2004 ALCS.

Anyway, Dave the dog is doing pretty well. He’s four months old, so he’s still a bit skittish about a lot of things. Loud noises make him jump, he gets freaked when we go for walks on Beacon Street and he still pees in the house. Gradually, he is getting better and becoming more acclimated to his new life. The one problem is that he was originally thought to have kennel cough, but it is becoming apparent that he may have pneumonia.

Aly spoke to the shelter that we got him from, Sterling Rescue, and they agreed to check him out for free. I hope that everything goes well for him, because these coughing fits that he has are killers. Update: I am writing this on the way home from New York now (the batteries on the computer died yesterday) turns out that Dave has pneumonia. He’s in the hospital now and will be there for a few days. Totally sucks.

The New York leg of this trip was uneventful, stayed at a cool hotel, the Marriot Marquis, and now I’m my way home. Aside from that, not much is going on … Jay is considering moving to Hawai’i and leaves in a few weeks. Turns out his buddy runs a restaurant on the island and needs a bartender. He asked Jay to come out, and he’ll pay his airfare, his expenses and will allow him to keep any money he makes for a month. So, that’s going to be awesome for him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he stayed out there for a while. I think that this is going to be really good for him.

And if he stays out long enough, Aly and I will have a place to stay.

Speaking of places to stay, Aly and I went to Atlanta at the beginning of the month to visit John and his family. We didn’t do a hell of a lot, but that was cool. About the only thing that we did was go to Distant Replays where I picked up a 1970 Baltimore Oriole cap and an old school Red Sox t-shirt. We also went to the Georgia Aquarium. Very cool, they had four baby Beluga whales which looked absolutely awesome.

The one weird thing occurred the first night Aly and I were there, we were sleeping in Samantha’s room and I woke up around 4 am. I looked over to my right and I saw what looked like a man standing over the crib, about two feet from my bed. I thought that it was Aly’s dad saying good bye to the baby (they were leaving early that morning) but he said he didn’t go in the room.

The last night we were there, Aly swears that she heard the pitter pattering of kids’ feet in Joey’s room at around 3 am. I’m not sure if it was really anything, but the whole situation was a bit strange. As Ed Saunders would say OO-EEE-OO.

Aside from globetrotting, ghostbusting and adopting dogs the rest of the time has been pretty slow. I threw Aly a surprise party in June and took Kyle to the Sox-Mets game (Sox won).

You may have noticed that I haven’t updated the comic strip in a bit, the reason is because I’m beginning to work on redesigning the site. When will it be done? I’m not sure, I’d like to be finished by September. After that I’m giving the comics thing one more great try and then see where I am. Hopefully things will take off, I have to work hard though.

Ok. Talk to you soon, we’re landing now.

Comics, Books, Boston and St. Louis

It’s been a busy week and I am higher than a kite right now. Drugs? Nope. Alcohol? Nada. I’m typing this on a plane. Yes. An aeroplane on my way back to Boston from St. Louis. I am getting bored of the book that I am reading (more on that in a few paragraphs) so I decided to bust out the old computer and start banging away at the keyboard.

As you have probably noticed, there is no new comic strip this weekend. There probably won’t be for a few weeks, I’ve decided to do a few things with the strip. One, I am crafting a new web site for Room 19 Comics. It’s going to be much better, with a more sophisticated look and feel. The same elements will be there: the strips, the Blog, but I want it to reflect a more professional look. Also, during the next few weeks I am going to try and contact some web artists and “regular” comic artists and have them take a look at my strip and give me some feedback.

This is definitely going to be a bit of a gamble as I’m sure some will say that it flat-out sucks. Dealing with criticism on my creative ideas has never been my forte, but I’m just going to have to deal with it and use it in order to get better. So that’s where I am with that.

During the past few weeks, I’ve been flying through books, I have a few reviews that you may or may not enjoy, but if you want to skip them, be my guest. Following the book reviews, I have some thoughts on St. Louis and the new Busch Stadium.


The first book I read, actually reread, was “The Family” by Ed Sanders. This was a terrifically researched book on the Manson family and their crimes. Compared to Sanders Vincent Bugliosi, he wrote the more popular “Helter Skelter”, was a complete pussy. Why was Sanders such a bad ass? While doing research for the book, he actually hung out with members of the family that weren’t imprisoned. And some of them, like Sandra Good or Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme or Steve “Scramblehead/Clem” Grogan were genuine psychopaths.

Yet he was there at the ranch and actually spent an entire night in the desert with them. And with that, he has a ton more evidence than Bugliosi could ever dream of. He traces the Family’s rise to power in the late 60s in San Francisco and how Manson would tour the California coast line in a black bus with four of his witches (three of whom would eventually be sent to jail). Sanders also puts forth the theory that Manson was actually part of a bigger Satanic cult that had ties to Hollywood.

He also suggests that while the murders at the Tate and LaBianca households may have looked random, there may have been something more calculating going on underneath. Sanders never explicitly says it, but he broadly hints that there may have been a higher power telling Manson that the people at Cielo Road and the LaBianca house needed to be wiped off the planet.

For anyone interested in this case, and it seems that there are more and more people whom get into this mystery everyday, this is THE book to read. “Helter Skelter” is Manson101, this tome is a more advanced course.


The second book I buzzed through in the last month was a terrific baseball book written by one of my favorite baseball writers, Rob Neyer. It is entitled “Baseball’s Biggest Bloopers” and goes through a host of wrong doings and flat-out bad ideas of the last 100 years.

The thing that I enjoyed most of all about this was that Neyer just didn’t take the conventional roads to reach his point, he looked at the trade or in-game move from a bunch of different angles. For example, many people have ripped the Cincinnati Reds for trading Frank Robinson for (essentially) Milt Papas.

Neyer agrees that it was a bad trade (Robinson simply kicked ass, while Papas got hurt and sucked), but he argues that a. when the trade was made many thought that the Reds were getting the better of the deal (Papas had a lot of upside and F. Robby was thought to be on the downside of his career) and b. even with Frank Robinson, the Reds wouldn’t had done much better than they did. Perhaps they may have one an extra division title, but by the time the 70s began they were beginning their dominance and Robinson wouldn’t have helped much.

There is a lot of stuff about the Red Sox in this book, including the 86 World Series where Neyer claims that McNamara lost game six not with keeping Buckner out for the tenth inning, but because he didn’t pinch hit for him in the eighth with lefty Jesse Orosco on the mound. He says that Don Baylor should’ve been brought in as a pinch hitter because Buckner was ludicrously bad against lefties and Orosco was exceptionally good that year. Leaving Buckner to bat against Orosco was an insanely dumb nonmove, Neyer argues. And I happen to agree with him.

Going all the way through the 2003 playoffs, we even get essays on the Boston and Chicago collapses. Reading this book in the aftermath of the 2004 season, is a lot easier to take had the Sox lost to the Cards or were swept by the Yanks. I highly recommend this book.

Speaking of the Sox, quick booky-book intermission here, Tony Massarotti of the Boston Herald argues that they’re essentially paper champions this year. He said that they haven’t beaten anyone of substance (I’m not too sure about that) and aren’t as good as the 2004 edition. I can’t say that I don’t agree with him. I think he goes a bit too far in saying that the Sox haven’t beaten anyone, they just took two of three from the AL leading Detroit Tigers (how weird is it to write that by the way?), though they did get their asses handed to them by the Yankees (who tied the season series at 4-4) last night.

Reactionary column after a bad lost? No doubt. But there is a kernel of truth to it. Schilling has been dominant for most of his starts. Beckett is a streaky bastard who looks like Roger Clemens one start and Matt Clement the next. Speaking of which, the less said about Clement the better. Two weeks ago, he lost the Sox fandom forever by letting the Yankees and the Big Ugly get off the mat after the Sox had their proverbial cleats on their throats. Will he ever get his ship righted in Boston? Doubtful.

Wakefield also has been inconsistent as hell, but he’s a knuckleballer. You can’t expect much from him and David Wells makes a start every month, which leads to fifth starters like Lenny DiNardo and David Pauley.

The bullpen has started to round into form with Jonathan Papelbon leading the way with a 0.33 ERA (ONE earned run) and 20 straight saves. This kid is simply lights fucking out awesome. Keith Foulke is back as a decent seventh or eighth inning guy and Mike Timlin is already tired. Julian Taverez and Rudy Seanez have been ok, while guys like Manny Delcarmen and Jermain VanBuren haven’t done too badly.

We’ve been spoiled the last three years with offensive juggernauts and you knew that eventually things were going to dip a bit sooner or later. Well, later has come as the hitting hasn’t been quite the same. This can be blamed on a number of things including the six-week injury of offensive sparkplug Coco Crisp. With Crisp out, Kevin Youkilis had to take an unfamiliar role as the leadoff man and he was awesome. That wasn’t the problem, the problem was if you take out one of your good players (Crisp) and replace him with a guy that made your last third of the lineup insanely strong (Youkilis) you obviously weaken the last part of your lineup.

It doesn’t matter if Alex Cora or Alex Gonzalez is playing short, one of them isn’t going to hit. Add the centerfield offensive black hole of Willie Harris (who got a few starts because of the Wily Mo Pena injury) and the at bats that Doug Mirabelli gets when he catches Wakefield and while you aren’t Kansas City Royals bad, but you’re close. And seriously, can we stop the Mirabelli hero worship, please? The guy was completely washed up last year and he’s more so now. And watching him catch Wakefield, while he’s probably not as bad as Josh Bard (who is DESTROYING the ball in San Diego), he’s not exactly Johnny Bench either. BTW, the less said about Jason Varitek’s “hitting” the better, he looks as if he’s swinging his September lumber in May. Not a good sign.

As for the good, after a slow start Mark Loretta is finally making people forget about Tony Graffinino (yes, seriously). And while Ortiz isn’t hitting for a high average, he’s still knocking in runners and hitting dingers. Manny has been a bit inconsistent (for him), but is showing signs of turning it around. I don’t think that northeast Aprils and Mays are kind to him, BTW. Trot has been ok, but with Pena’s injuries, he’s going to have to face a lot of lefties now … not exactly his strong suit. However Gabe Kapler is on the mend and should be back with four weeks, which means we can say good bye to Dustin (Less is ) Mohr. Sorry for the lame Bermanism, but you’re with me leather.

The biggest surprise, and honestly from all reports it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, goes to Mike Lowell. This guy is simply scorching the ball. He’s in the top ten in average, last time I checked he’s leading the league in doubles and making a run at Earl Webb’s record. From everything I’ve read he’s one of the hardest workers on team taking extra fielding and hitting practice, working hard and lets his play do the talking. After his testicular cancer operation a few years ago, a great year by him in one of the best baseball cities in America, it is just a great story.

Another terrific story, and one that we’re not used to around here, has been the sparkling play of the Sox defense, particularly the infield. Youkilis has taken to firstbase like a young Keith Hernandez (hyperbole? Perhaps), Loretta is solid, Gonzalez may hit like shit, but he fields like no one I’ve ever seen and Lowell makes a bunch of tremendous plays too. It’s been a lot of fun watching them in the field.



Back to the books, the third book that I’ve completed was Chuck Klosterman’s “Killing Yourself to Live”. I’ve been wanting to read this since I went on my Klosterman kick back in October, but I was too cheap to buy it in hardcover. About a week ago I saw it in softcover and snapped it up. It’s good, not as good as “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs” or “Fargo Rock City”, but it’s still a more than decent read.

Why wasn’t it as good as the other ones? I think it’s a bit too self indulgent for starters. For me, Klosterman’s bread and butter is writing about pop culture and tying it to the everyday occurrences that we all face. In this book he goes on a death trip throughout the United States, stopping at the sites of different rock stars deaths. Great premise. Along the way he waxes about all the girls he’s been involved with. It’s like that Englebert Humperdink-Willie Nelson song if song by the Pixies or Pavement or some other alt band. Is it bad? No. Not in small doses, but it does get sort of boring after the 50th time he brings it up. Yes, I get it, you’ve had a few girlfriends that you still love, quit being a pussy, make a choice and live with it.

I’m probably being too hard on the guy because I genuinely liked the book, he has a lot of interesting views on rock, most of which I share (though his theory that Jim Morrison is the most overrated rocker ever is not one) and he succinctly describes the Led Zeppelin phase of every man perfectly. However, I think that he may have gone a bit overboard with his wistful reminiscing about his past loves. Dude, just go with Lucy Chance, she seems cool and won’t put up with your shit and in the end, that’s really what every guy wants, a challenge.



The last book I read is another that I’ve read before, “Saturday Morning Fever” by Timothy and Kevin Burke. I’m not sure why it took two people to write this, though I can tell because it is a tad schizophrenic. On one hand, it seems that it wants to be a sort of memory book where people from my generation can remember the Saturday morning cartoons that they used to love. On the other hand, it tries to be a bit too scholarly in its defense of the genre. The problem with this take is two-fold: one, I don’t think that Saturday morning TV needed to be defended, most people realize that it was what it was (Frankenberry for the eyes) and two their defense sounds more like a child’s whine. They just didn’t do a good or even competent job of defending why Saturday morning TV was ok for kids.

There wasn’t a lot of first-hand “evidence” from experts, must testimonials were from anonymous newsgroup postings and stuff written years ago. One of the Burkes is a music magazine writer and the other is college professor and their styles simply don’t mesh. When they try to be scholarly, it lacks. When they try to be breezy, it sort of works, and the less said about the humorous sidebars, the better.

The one thing that I have to say is that they completely miss the boat on the “Davey and Goliath” show, calling it either punishment TV or the worst program during the weekend. D&G is not meant to be taken literally, if you watch the show ironically or stoned (like I used to when I was in college), the show is actually very funny and quite good. But, if you’re watching it with any form of sincerity, you’re going to be let down. It’s a lot like “Leave it to Beaver” there is enough funny shit to keep you going if you know where to find it.

Was this a terrible book? No, though the last chapter gives new meaning to the word monotony, and if you have a spare $20, pick it up and you’ll get a pretty good trip down memory lane, but don’t expect to get any real insight or concrete points for your next cartoons-are-evil debate.

This is probably the longest entry I’ve ever written and if you’re still with me, I will send you a dollar. The last thing I wanted to write about is my trip to St. Louis. I was in the Show-Me state for a grand total of 29 hours and it was cool. For one thing, there is something about the women out here, I have no idea what they feed them … but, damn, they better keep doing it. Also, summer comes early here, so that means, there is less clothes in June than in Boston.

I ended up getting tickets to the Red/Cards game last night at the new Busch Stadium. I hate to sound like a certain sportscaster, but why can’t we get parks like this? My friend and I had awesome seats in centerfield and we could see every part of the ballpark. We also walked around a bit and sat in some other seats (behind home plate and in the leftfield bleachers) and it was the same. The place was gorgeous, brand spanking new with the greenest grass I’ve ever seen.

Everything looked like it was brand new (probably because it was) and shiny. The concession stands were awesome offering everything from a barbequed turkey leg to standard hot dogs and pretzels. Two words: beer guys. They have them there and they dispense 16oz Budweiser products. BTW, if you don’t like Bud products, you’re SOL here. And at the beer stands, they give you a 24 oz can of brew for pretty much the same price as the Fenway suds.

And if you have kids, there’s plenty of stuff for them to do too as they have free batting cages, video games and other stuff out in centerfield.

The one thing that completely blew me away was the atmosphere around the park. For one thing, everyone is decked out in red. EVERY ONE. And they are really into every pitch. They’re super nice, but ultra competitive too. I’d go back there any time and I think it really gives Fenway a run for its money in terms of baseball obsession. Ok, I’m about to land and the computer is just about out of batteries.