Roger Clemens 1988 Topps All-Star

On June 18, 2016, I received the above card. I took to Facebook that day and wrote the following:

“The BCB is getting to my kids now. Giuliana found this filth in our mailbox. 

TOO CLOSE TO HOME, BCB! TOO CLOSE TO MY BLOODY HOME! [/liamneeson]”

I think that I may have over-reacted in that Facebook post—though I’m sure the over reaction is for humor.

Ugh. How about that card, huh? I mean that's an ugly-ass card right there. The whole 1988 Topps All-Star subset was pretty gross. I get that they were going for a retro feel but, these were pretty bad design wise. 

For a long time, I absolutely hated Roger Clemens. I hated that he was from Ohio, but led everyone to believe that he was born and bred in Texas. I hated that he seemingly tanked through his last few years in Boston. I hated that he got really good in Toronto, especially after he said he’d only pitch in Boston or Texas. I hated that he strong armed his to New York to win a World Series. I hated that he threw a bat at Mike Piazza and lied about it. I hated that he retired and got a lot of fanfare. I hated that he unretired and he went to Houston with his buddy Andy Pettitte. I hated that he came back to the Yankees. I hated that he retired again. I hated that his stupid K kids got drafted and fast-tracked to the majors because their last names were Clemens. I hated that he was busted for steroids and threw everyone (including his wife and Pettitte) under the bus. I hated that he said “misremembered” and that he couldn’t spell douchebags.

Pretty much I hated everything about him. But you know what, I’m out of hate. I don’t hate Roger Clemens any more. I just don’t.

I don’t know whether I’ve found inner peace (not bloody likely), became zen (again, I doubt it) or just realized that it’s kind of dumb to hate a guy that you never knew simply because he doesn’t play for your baseball team any more.

I have no doubt in my mind that Roger Clemens is dumb. I have no doubt in my mind that Roger Clemens shot himself up with every kind of steroid imaginable*. I have no doubt in my mind that Roger Clemens is greedy. But it doesn’t matter. None of that stuff matters, really. All that matters is whether Roger Clemens was a good pitcher and you’d have to be able to really pretzel some logic into saying that he wasn’t.

Before Pedro Martinez and Curt Schilling and Josh Beckett and David Price and Chris Sale, Roger Clemens was the best pitcher the Boston Red Sox ever had. For a team that historically relied on sluggers to put asses in the seats, Clemens broke that mold. In 1986, more people wanted to go to Fenway Park to see Roger Clemens than they did to see Wade Boggs or Jim Rice or Don Baylor (RIP, big man) or any of the sluggers that the Red Sox had to offer.

And that was true from that year until the day he left Boston. With Clemens on the mound—and as long as it wasn’t against Dave Stewart, man snark is hard to lose—every game he pitched the Red Sox had a good chance of winning. You really have to go all the way back to Cy Young to come up with a pitcher who had that duende year-after-year-after-year.

* I am certain that the way you feel about steroids is directly proportional to how you feel about the ball player prior to the knowledge of PEDs. For example, I wanted Clemens to burn at the stake for his HGH crimes (and he did it, I don’t care what the courts say). But for Manny Ramirez, I was practically doing advanced yoga trying to figure a way out of him being a cheater. The difference is I don’t hate Ramirez. And I don’t hate Barry Bonds or Mark McGwire or Sammy Sosa or Manny Alexander (not all steroid cheats are stars). But man, did I hate Clemens. But the truth is, if someone came up to me and said, “Stick this needle in your ass and you’ll have more money than you ever dreamed of and you’d be the best baseball player in the world to boot.” It would be hard to turn that down. It really would.

Roger Clemens was the first baseball hero that I remember liking. His ascendance to super stardom mirrored my obsession with baseball. I remember when he struck out 20 guys in 1986 and talking about it in sight grade. The more I talked about what happened the night before, the more I thought that this was an unbelievable feet and that I had to watch him. The more I watched him, the more I liked him and the more I liked baseball. Throw in that the Sox were ripping apart the American League on their way to a World Series and man, that’s not a perfect storm, it’s the perfect tsunami for becoming a lifelong baseball fan.

I had this exact poster on my wall (aside from the Sox logo) and I loved that thing. It was the first sports poster that I had on my wall and I remember the day that I got it. I picked up from Chris' Comic Book store and I remember thinking, this is a new day; I think I'm going to be more of a baseball card guy than a comic book guy. And that's what happened over the next few years, I spent more on cards than I ever did on comics. 

Things will never be as good as it was in 1986. That was my first time around as a baseball fan and everything was new and exciting. How do you determine the Magic Number? What’s a trade deadline? Oh shit, there are only four teams left and one of them is us?

I slip into a cliché and say that I’d always spend my life trying to chase that dragon. Only Clemens is Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones reference!) and he’s driving that dragon, scorching the country side that was the 1986 American League. I was following that dude to King's Landing just like one of Daenerys' unsullied. 

It’s tough when your heroes turn out to be human, but they do. And people react in different ways. I acted like a jilted lover. It’s over though. The Red Sox won the World Series three times, they’ve had pitchers that I’ve liked a ton more (Martinez) and players that I’ve worshipped more (Ramirez, David Ortiz, Mookie Betts).

Roger Clemens is a guy that is trying to rebuild his reputation around Boston. I’m not sure exactly why, but it’s kind of endearing to see him do so. Maybe he only truly felt accepted as a Red Sox. Maybe he thinks that the Boston media can get him into the Hall of Fame. Maybe he feels bad by the way things went down. I don’t know. All I know is that it’s worked on me.

One of my bad habits is holding onto a grudge for a long time, but I’m not made of stone. And frankly, I have more important things to worry about than whether some dumb dude made a business decision that I disagreed with 21 years ago (IRONY!). All I know is that Roger Clemens is the second greatest pitcher I’ve ever seen and he’s as responsible for me being a Red Sox fan as Dave Henderson is.

He brought me to something that I genuinely love. How can I hold that against him?